What have we learned boys and girls about the Bi-Polar disorder. The right medication is the key ingredient to success. Finding the right match of medication to make the light go on in the tower and for life to be regained. It took ten months of mixes and matches to find the right mixture and dosages of medication, not to mention the time I waited for the medication to work.
Bi-Polar runs on the system of cycles. They do not all run concurrently and they don’t all make the whole of a person, and sometimes they don’t even make sense, but added together they will, they run on their own timetables and sequences. Every person is unique and each of us carries our own issues and dilemmas. Issues do not go away without bringing them into the light for examination and information and study. What do I know about my husband:
- KEEP A JOURNAL of your progress and the Bi-Polar person
- Journaling can become very crucial to self help and to help others like US
- The more knowledge you collect the better you are at predicting the future by maintenance and vigilance
- You are your own best physician, take the time to learn it will benefit you BOTH
- I learned this with HIV, I know my body better than any doctor that I will ever see
- It is my knowledge that helps a doctor to treat me optimally!!
- Therefore what you observe becomes knowledge for a Psychiatrist or Psychologist and the GP following the patient
- Sexual issues are at the top of the list
- Mommy issues are just as bad
- Is he sleeping too much or too little
- Is his mind racing all the time or not enough
- Is he not motivated Enough to live each day to his fullest
- Is he Overstimulated – therefore halting the creative process
- Is he depressed for longer periods of time, therefore maybe a medication needs to be removed, tweaked or changed
- Is he emotionally stable on a steady day to day basis for longer periods of time
- Is he up or down or too much or one or the other
- Does he eat in regular intervals or binge eats during certain hours
- Because he’s in recovery and not going to meetings – I have to take that into consideration because I still go to meetings.
- Is he exhibiting addictive behavior, food, sex, ambivalence, smoking
- Is he being irresponsible with money
- Is he eating too mcuh and not getting satisfaction with each meal
- Are there other medical factors we need to look at
- Thyroid, genetic or emotional issues
- Does he have enough structure to fill his day
- Is there too much structure for him (overstimulization)
- Does he feel fulfilled socially
- Should we enroll him in school – University – goals are important
- Are his classes stimulating him to his maximum potential
- Boredom is KEY here… Most bi-polar people are inner geniuses and don’t know whether it is mental or creational
- When the High is Too high, the fall is too great
- When the Low is too low, it will take some work to bring him up
- Creation at optimum levels for him is a recipie for disaster because he does not know when to shut the valve off and that creates hysteria in his head
- Finding BALANCE is Key to proper maintenance
- Making sure one cycle does not become troublesome – that’s where I failed to see the problem
- Making sure he has psychological support – someone other than me to talk to
- I can only do so much for him, the rest is up to him
- Medical supervision with the Psychiatrist is important to make sure we are monitoring the medication levels properly. This is very important. It takes a LONG time to figure out, most don’t know this, but the closest person to the patient should follow the trends of ups and downs to find the trend of good and bad.
- I spent a year studying his behavior to help his doctor find the right mix, adding to that his own observations as to how the medication made him feel and how he progresses with certain meds, throughout the medical process of divining the right medication mixture.
- Keeping an eye out for odd behavior is also important. Over long periods of times cycles can become natural cycles if you don’t catch the bad ones quick enough. This is not an easy task.
- Re-Integration has been an issue. How do you explain two lives at different stages of living after someone has been absent for months ata time, and you, the spouse and family went on with their lives, while you (the patient) were down for the count. I still go to meetings and have a life along with monitoring YOU, if YOU the patient do not take the proper steps to catch up, you will always be behind the lead runner in the race.
- Pushing a bi-polar person to change is useful – being angry is also useful -
- Responsibility is an adult necessity, and if you can’t be responsible, then we will treat you as we need to, until you can rise to the occasion. Irresponsibility with money, food and sex is Unacceptible.
- Bi-polar depression is a diagnosed mental problem and should be dealt with accordingly. With proper care and multi-pronged approach one finds their way. I am still trying to figure out how to be in two places at the same time, and to be in two heads at once. This is a challenge, because I am not God.
- Detecting the cyclical behavior is a learned behavior, just like certain other behaviors are learned.
- One must find the balance between a bi-polar person abusing you and taking advantage of you and the bi-polar condition being a daily handicapp and a crutch. My husband tries to do both sometimes at the same time.
- Whining and complaining about being forced off your ASS will not be tolerated. You want something to complain about, I’ll give you one problem to really complain about! I don’t want to hear about your complaints because you sure as shit don’t want to hear mine.
- Does he have occupational therapy, (The Gym, landry, house chores, getting out of the house) Sitting on ones ass or sleeping too much is problematic and can bite you in the ass
- A Spouse or family member of a bi-polar person needs a break at least for an hour a day or one day a week. sometimes that is impossible, so you build in structure to allow you both to have time for yourselves.
- Make sure you take care of your needs first, if you are sick or dead you are useless to care for anyone else, right !!
- Bi-Polar is just as much a mental disorder as a behavioral disorder and by watching key behavior patterns or cycles, along with medical treatment and supervision, one can manage their condition with a responsible partner to help them along the way
- Do not take no for an answer, fight, kick, scream, make sure he gets better
- FAILURE is NOT an option
- Treatment can work, but you have to be able to invest time and patience into wanting to find a solution and living through the darkness, because it does get light, and times will get hard, but you figure it out
- WALKING AWAY from a sick person is unconscionable, some people cannot hack the life of the patient spouse, this is what separates the MEN from the Boys and the WOMEN from the girls.
- Illness can either make or break your marriage, which are you going to choose?
- For Better or for Worse, in Sickness and in Health, in good times and in bad, till Death do us part, Did you say the same vows WE did?
- Marriage is a battle and I am a fighter. Are YOU?
- Never say Die, Never say NO, Never give up, there are ALWAYS solutions, IF you know where to find them
- Talk to everyone you know
- Trust only those you must
- Not every doctor knows his asshole from a hole in the ground
- Finding the right Bi-Polar doc is as important as finding the right GP or HIV doctor, half ass men in white coats are a dime a dozen, finding the right doc takes time, KNOWLEDGE and perseverance
- Know thine enemy frontwards and backwards
- To Thine Own Self Be True…
- Learn the signs of problems before they rear their ugly heads and tip you off balance, this is where I failed, over the last few months
- Every cycle has its marker tags, learn to spot them quickly
- Cycles can be time sensitive, moon cycle sensitive, each cycle runs on energy it comes and goes sometimes quickly sometimes slowly
- Cycles can last a few days or a few weeks or a few months
- Remember the good cycle and try to keep the bad cycles at a mininum
- PROPER VIGILANCE !! DAILY VIGILANCE!! DAILY MAINTENANCE
- There is a God, if there wasn’t I probably would not be here at this moment
- Pray, Pray and Pray some more…
- Find your faith, or FAITH will find you
- Trust me on this one…
- Evil exists in the face of illness – it taunts you and makes you feel small and insignificant and powerless, and useless, FIND the Path to not falling into the trap
- Pray, Pray and Pray some more
- I know this very well…
- Prayer – Acceptance and Powerlessness are helpful to help you stay grounded and humble
- Sometimes I cannot do this alone, that’s where YOU come in
- We can Do this Together
- You are not alone
- Bi-Polar is manageable – I am still finding our way, now 3 years after his diagnosis, we are a work in progress
- One Day At A Time…
- You are right where you need to be at any given moment on any given day
- Pure Intent and Open Mindedness really help ones journey of faith and life
- Illness either kills you or makes you stronger
- And That which does not Kill You makes you Stronger
- I am not dead yet, I am not finished living my life, So God says…
- It is all about the Mystical Life we each live in our own way
- Find your Mystical roots and you will find your way through the now and into your future
- I don’t live in the past – It distracts from the NOW…
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