Seen over on: Randall’s Blog, Flickr Retreat Chapel – Chicago

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

My Tuesday’s have been upset because of class, and I am disconnected from the hive, and tonight I am feeling a little out of sorts because of my missing a few meetings. Today was an uneventful day as my Tuesday’s have been the same as the rest for years.

I spent coffee time with my friends before hand and we walked over for set up. Funny that the matriarch of the meeting comes earlier and earlier to the church so that we have time to visit before I have to leave the church as the Angelus bells ring from the bell tower of St. Leon’s Church in Westmount.

I made it to class on time and handed in my latest reflection paper in early. I have to say that the discussion in class has gotten very lively. We’ve been discussing Richard Dawkins, who is a staunch Athiest and Alister McGrath who discusses Dawkins in a lecture given at Babbage Lecture Theatre, Cambridge.

McGrath writes:

“Pretending the religion is the only problem in the world, or the base of all pain and suffering, is simply no longer a real option for thinking people. It’s just rhetoric, masking a difficult problem we all need to address – namely, how human beings can coexist and limit their passions. There is a very serious problem here, which needs to be discussed openly and frankly by atheists and Christians alike – namely, how some of those who are inspired and uplifted by a great vision of reality end up doing such dreadful things.

This is a truth about human nature itself. It can easily be accommodated with specifically Christian understanding of human nature, which affirms that we bear the “image of God” while being fallen on account of sin. To put it very simplistically, the lingering remnant of divine likeness impels us to goodness; the powerful presence of sin drags us down into a moral quagmire, from which we can never entirely escape.”

Has Science eliminated God? Richard Dawkins and the Meaning of life, pgs. 200-201

I came home and remembered that I had an appointment to write a friend about her life. I have been following her blog religiously for months now. Tuesday is the day I go to church at the Cathedral and I take my friends to church with me and I lay their problems down at the altar. So I spent the better part of an hour when I got home doing that. We’ve had the discussion of “Should I stay or Should I go” for months now, and it seems that we have come full circle because she has asked this set of questions once again. And again, we have to stop and assess the situation as it is today, and see what has transpired over the last few months since our last communicade, and sit down and ask ourselves a few pointed and sometimes harsh questions.

There are no half measures when it comes to sobriety.

There are three places an addict can find themselves if they don’t find recovery, they are Institutions, Jails and finally Six Feet Under. There comes a time in recovery when we reach a point of no return with others who are in the grips of addiction and self destruction that one must assess the viablility of maintaining a relationship with someone who clearly does not strive to clean up their act. Every living person had one redemptive quality about themselves, and I write:

“The fact that you see One Redempive Quality in your husband is so very admirable. And Unlike most, we tend to miss the redemptive quality, while looking for everything that is wrong with said person.

Everyone has a redemptive quality about them. The junky, the addict, the alcoholic and the abuser. The caveat here is this, does the offense overshadow or outperform the redemptive quality of said person? Is it time to hang up your coat and walk away?

Has redemption passed for him? Has he reached the point that redemption has come and gone? Aren’t you fed up with this already? For Christ’s sake, enough already. havn’t you had enough? I know if it were me I would have shipped his ass off to rehab somewhere where he would not get out until he was clean and mentally taken care of.

Is it time for you to call it a night? The [battered] wife, usually goes back because it is all she knows. Until she claims herself free and walks away from her abuser,then she is ready to start her life again without the violence. Oh but he will not do that again, he only does it because he loves me, he is not really a bad man. I see it in him, [every time he drops his pants].

He’s abused you enough. Don’t you agree, this train is not coming into the station, it is running at warp speed and you are powerless to stop it. And the only way that it is going to stop is when you get off the ride, mentally, emotionally and most importantly physically…”

My heart is broken over this situation because I know that if a decision is made in haste that it could be dangerous. But just when is enough?  Working with others is a very hard chore sometimes, when one sees the writing on the wall and you have to step back and say, I can’t make this decision for you, but I can offer you a viewpoint from outside the maelstorm, maybe you can find some assistance in what I have perceived and what we have spoken about in the past. We are stuck on a broken record. And the rut the needle is stuck in is getting really deep. There is no confidence breaking here. Pastoral Counseling is something that doesn’t come easy. I’m supposed to remain objective and offer counsel and advice where I can. I hope I did that tonight.