I find that relationships [to begin with] are difficult. The pull and tug of [what about me] and the sensitivities of life are numerous. It is hard to reconcile getting involved with the functions of every day gay [friends, bar hopping and sex] and the ‘coupling’ of a couple. There are many distractions and issues that face young love [gee do I want to be with that person in a monogamous relationship] or not, can I commit [There’s a big word] COMMITMENT…

It took me over 30 years to be ready, and then another 4 to find it, and it has been six years for me, three in marriage next Tuesday. It is not easy, and I can tell you that sex takes a back seat when it comes to finances and medical issues, in our relationship.

Should I stay or should I go are two very serious questions one should ask, I have always said that [monogamy] would be the deathknell of gay community, because the living of life will change for all when many begin to couple. The ways that were will be no more. And I think that is the biggest impediment to ‘coupling.’

Finding the right mate is hard, staying with that mate is even harder when you are still young and in the [candy store] phase of life. There is too much choice to settle down too young and say [this one is it, I am sure of it.]

We live and we learn, I think that rushing a relationship is detrimental to the cause. It takes work and thought and selfless maintenance. [less what about me, and more thought to the other] that’s what separates the men from the boys, so to speak.

I am sad when I read young people coming and going from relationships, I think, well, they haven’t learned the lesson yet, so try, try again… One day they will learn and the hunt will end, and everyone will be happy for them. So we sit here and wait for people to come and ask us what shall we do now!