I wanted to show you what Spring in Montreal looks like from high above the city. All the trees in the neighborhood are green and the flowers are blooming all over the place in gardens and in the green spaces.
There’s not much going on here today. I haven’t prepared anything substantial to write about. I went to the grocery store a bit ago for hot dogs and tasty dinner items for the weekend. Stay tuned. More to come later.
I have a great announcement:
MR. CHAD FOX at Stop Touching My Food is back. Go show him some love.
I’m feeling a little [dis-eased] tonight. I am not feeling right in my skin. And it feels like I am down on my knees trying to find grace. They say that “at any given point of the day, you are right where you need to be at any given moment in your day.” I am not feeling very well at the moment.
They say that “If you have a problem with someone else, that the problem lies within yourself.” And I need to find out what it is within me that has me in such a shitty place. I am not sober enough? Am I not praying enough? Am I not feeling enough compassion? And where do I draw the line, if there is a line to draw, between the right feeling and the wrong feeling. And is/does my dis-ease with people ever become justifiable? I mean I bust my ass to do the right thing, when others in my social circle take, take and take and never make headway in their progress. I am not feeling compassion at all. And you know what, that’s ok because maybe I need to learn something? I wonder if I am suffering from a lack of humility? Because God knows, I try to do my best every day, and some days I just fall short.
Does there ever come a day when you can say that you have arrived? Or are we always in the state of “getting there, and we are not quite there yet, but just keep walking a bit further and eventually you will get there!”
I really want to help my friends out of their darkness, and it seems that some of my folks have no earthly desire to get out of their darkness, and so they sit in their piles of shit and grown mushrooms. And does that reflect poorly on my abilities or my sobriety, that maybe people are not moving as fast down the path as I am, I know that for sure. Everyone must walk their path, on God’s time, not on my time.
Today’s topic was “Are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober?” It is stated in the Big Book that half measures availed us nothing, we stood at the turning point. We asked his protection and care with complete abandon. I don’t know why I am fixated on my sobriety as I have been the last few days, I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I have gone to any lengths to stay sober, to work my program and today I am accountable because of the time, effort and care I have banked over the last seven years. I just don’t show up every week and warm a chair, I am an active participant in my sobriety and I think that is one of the issues that I am fixated over, that others just show up and just warm chairs, they talk the lingo and play the game, but at the heart of it all, there is no substance. And I have a problem with that. So that is my problem too, right? Impatience? Misunderstanding? Ego? Arrogance? Self Centeredness?
I’m so tired of listening to misery from my friends week in and week out, the story never changes. We have a program, a program of action, a program of recovery. They say, “Easy come, Easy Go!” Why do some people get on the bus and they do the work and they get honest and become Happy, Joyous and Free!!! We want everybody to get to Happy, Joyous and Free, don’t we? I think this all came to a head on Saturday when I realized that I was at a certain place in my sobriety and that “that” meant something to me in that moment. And that was my moment to have.
You can please some of the people, some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people, all of the time. And some people will never change, although change is possible, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink. Sometimes I want to shake a throttle some of my friends because they are so stubborn and immovable that it drives me crazy. And I think that that is something that I have to work on through prayer. But for Christ’s sake, do I always have to be a people pleaser? Do I always have to say, well, they are where they are because that is where they are, and you have to afford people latitude, and that I can’t be judgmental or pissy about it, I just have to deal with it. IMPATIENCE!!!
I’m just not in a good place…
At some stage of this game I get to the point where I sit and look around me at my friends and I say “For Christ’s sake SHIT or get off the POT!” If you don’t want what we have, after seven years of being here, they maybe it’s time for you to go. I want to be what someone called himself a “Lifer!” I just think that at some point that misery has to come to an end, because I am getting tired of being around it, listening to it and seeing people sit in misery week in and week out.
Now you might say, “well Jeremy, if you don’t like it or you are unhappy, then leave…” I have pondered that question for the last little while.
I’m just not in a good place…
I’ve ranted enough, I’m going to go eat and talk to my hubby…
Until later peeps…
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Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
I watched Joyce Meyer today, because I was home alone, and I needed a pick me up, because I haven’t been feeling well as of late. The weather is not cooperating and it seems my body has been on overdrive for the last little while and I am just plain “Tired!” yesterday was an emotional day for me and I found that by the time dinner was on the table, that all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and close my eyes. If you don’t listen to your body, when it speaks, it is usually already too late to do anything about it, because once you feel the pain, the damage is already done.
I guess as of late I haven’t felt very “prayerful” and yesterday was a good example of this fact, we opened the meeting with a prayer, but I guess my heart wasn’t in it because I was already looking for contention. My heart was not still and my brain was running at 60 miles per hour. And wouldn’t you know it that when I got into bed last night, my brain was still spinning and all I wanted to do was turn it off. I though that I knew where the “Off Switch” was, but I guess I was mistaken, because I must have laid there for an hour wishing that my brain would just stop running.
Joyce talked about prayer, and that we should pray a righteous prayer, and she spoke about the righteous man and how God does not listen to a “self righteous man” that prayer should be heartfelt and fervent. Fervent is defined as: having or showing great warmth or intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm, etc.; ardent: a fervent admirer; a fervent plea.
I guess that lately I haven’t taken the time to fervently sit and say my prayers like I usually do, because my days have been so filled with busyness and drama. I am not complaining because how else would my days be like? I move very quickly over my daily landscape and I know that I haven’t taken time to stop and pay attention to the growing grass or the blooming flowers. A change has occurred in my weekly schedule and I have no choice but to acquiesce to it. School is as School does. Three is no way around it this term.
She also talked about the fact that if we pray, we must act on that prayer. If we sit and do nothing, then God sits and does nothing. And how easy is it for us to get up and make a decision to do something for someone else in order that God might move in some small way. She relates a story:
She went into a diner for dinner one night and she was alone at a table, close to the end of her meal a couple of ladies walked in and sat down to eat. When she got up to pay, she handed the waitress anSo amount of money to pay for her meal and the meals of the two ladies sitting in the restaurant at the moment, and in addition she told the waitress to keep the balance of what was left. She told the waitress to tell the ladies sitting there simply that “God loved them.”
A few nights later she went to another diner, where this same waitress worked two jobs to make ends meet, and they spoke. The waitress shared that when she approached the two ladies to tell them that their meal was paid, they had recognized Joyce from the TV, and were moved. When the waitress spoke the words “God Loves You” to them they began to cry. For it had happened, they were troubled, a family member was in the hospital at that moment in critical condition, and for a moment, God had shown himself to them in the simple words that “He Loved them” and they knew in that moment that everything would be alright.
So you never know when a random act of kindness will touch another in such a powerful way. As it has been for as many years as I can remember, doing service at my home group is a ritual random act of kindness. It is a time that I take during set up to meditate on people, to pray for people. To beckon those who might show up and to remember those who have since gone from our group. Every week when I set a particular chair down, I remember “Bitter Bernadette” and I utter her name and I wonder if she is still sober to this day?
So I am home alone, as hubby is out and I heard a message today, and now I am sitting with it, and I am writing the windows are open, yet the weather is unpleasant today. I went to the grocery store to get dinner for tonight and ran my errands, instead of burying myself in my bed sheets to sleep. Because when it rains, all I want to do is stay in bed. Even when I feel shitty I can’t sit here at home and look shitty. No matter how yucky I feel. It is one thing to feel like shit, it is totally another animal to look like shit. So I took a long hot shower and cleaned myself, and shaved, so that I look presentable, not that the only person looking at me right now would be God …
Recently Scotty has written about prayer you can find that link [Here]. But I will give you a piece of his essay he wrote for his class on prayer:
Prayer is a mystery! It is an amazing gift that God bestows upon His children allowing us to communicate with Him directly—I will never comprehend how or why this is the case! I enrolled in this Prayer class because I wanted to grow in both my knowledge and my ability in the area of prayer and God has taught me several lessons over the course of this semester that have allowed me to mature in my relationship with Him.
Prayer is one of the areas of life where the human and the divine collide. It is as normal as having a conversation with a friend, yet it is deeply mystical. This mystical aspect of prayer has contained one of the biggest lessons I have learned about prayer so far. Foster describes our prayers as a “perfect soliloquy” and quotes P. T. Forsyth who calls it the “monologue of divine grace”.
I have never thought of this side of prayer before. I always think of prayer going from Earth to Heaven—from humans to God. Scripture clearly shows people calling out to God and it exhorts us to do likewise. I know that Scripture shares the wonderful truth that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Rom 8:26, 34), and that Jesus intercedes for us from the right hand of the Father (Heb 7:25), but I had never taken these thoughts beyond this point. It blew me away to think that God is “in communion with himself through my stumbling bumbling prayers”. I always understood prayer to be transitive between me and God, but what an amazing thing it is that God would use me in a reflective way.
When I pray, the Holy Spirit calls out to God from inside me translating my prayers to God the Father, and at the same time Jesus Christ is praying to God the Father on my behalf. Both the Spirit and the Son are praying in line with the Father’s will and so every time I open my mouth to come to God I enter into the amazing perichoretic relationship of the Trinity. This has had such a powerful impact on me, so much so that I struggle to put into words the perception of God’s grace that I have been allowed to experience. In prayer I don’t just enter the throne room and approach my Heavenly Father, I participate in the Divine Love between the Trinity.
You can click over to his site and read the entire essay. It is a really beautiful piece of writing. And so we come to the end of this post. I feel at ease, my heart is not wanting to jump out of my chest and I feel alright at the moment, so I guess I am right where I need to be at this moment.
Toodles…
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“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants they do not govern.”
Sorry, I haven’t been posting daily, as of late, I just haven’t had anything expressive to say. I was waiting to see what kind of response I would get from recent posting. Thank you for all your comments.
It is Saturday the 3rd of May. Today we had a historical group conscience meeting of my home group. Which is something that is recommended to do every year. it has been over seven for our group. There were six people for today’s group meeting. Our number of members has fallen over the last few months.
With a moderators assistance we set out our agenda - as per those things we wanted to discuss, each of us were given a sheet of paper to jot down the things each of us had on our minds. A lot of the members did a lot of writing. I on the other hand had very little to write down. So the meeting began.
I found that I was judgmental, and that I had a lot of conflict with a certain member of the group in particular. My good friend Ms. Nikki, has been in a bad spot for a long time, and when it came time to start voting on certain issues, I found her to be self centered and self serving. And the issue became for me, are you here to serve yourself or are you here to serve the group?
Ms. Nikki only comes to the meeting because it breaks up the monotony of her life. And of late, she has been increasingly ill tempered and bitter. She has more than once and including today, spoken about the fact that she will be leaving the group. She does not work a program of recovery, yet she is quick to offer her opinion about other people where it comes down to sobriety and sober issues, yet she does nothing to work her own program. She does not mix well with others, and she makes no bones about it. It was difficult for me to accept that she has a vote and a voice, even if she is combatant and bitter.
It is one thing to come to the meeting and make coffee each week, it is totally another issue to get involved with the sobriety of others and to actually put yourself out there and be accountable. It is a known fact that she has issues with anonymity and the fact that she lives her life in fear of meeting another “member” on a bus or in a public place. She came into the meeting this morning saying that if she knew who the moderator was that she would just up and leave the meeting right then and there, which was not the thing to say to me at the outset of this meeting. She is so fucking worried about who knows shes in the program that is clouds her own vision to a terrible degree.
She continues to participate in our group, yet she does not apply herself to her sobriety, where the rest of us bust our asses day in and day out to stay sober. I put a motion up on the table for a 30 day chip to be given to newbies if they wanted one, and she voted against it, that burned my ass because what does she care whether of not we give a 30 day chip when she does not give a damn about anyone else who comes to our meeting. She told me that she wasn’t going to maintain her membership at the meeting, so why should she have a vote as to what we decide as a group?
The motion did not pass… fuck me…
We covered all the other issues that were brought up, we made a few clarifications as to group members and time requirements for service and chairing of meetings. Every one participated in lively discussion, and I, more than once, needed to take someone else’s inventory, which is my own personal issue. I don’t mind going to a business meeting every month and being the group treasurer, but some members refuse to come to business meetings because it does not serve them to show up, yet they assume that they have a voice when it comes to decisions and actions.
Are you serving the meeting at large or are you serving yourself?
Ms. Nikki wants to push back the start times of the meetings to serve her better, and she wants to close the speaker meeting because it does not serve her to stay for the second meeting. She does not want to spend money for intergroup or general service, she wants to give all the money away locally, she does not see the importance of the global picture at large. Her life schedule does not jive with the times of the meetings any more because she wants a reason to leave the meeting and she has been making excuses to leave the meeting for more than six months.
You know what it is like when you watch someone fight the tide at every turn just looking for an excuse to give up and say fuck it… And recently I’ve become bored with listening to the sob stories and the bitching and moaning about time and the fact that she has no life and that she finds the meetings meaningless, and she never EVER says a word during any discussion meeting. She would rather die than to open herself up to recovery, and that pains me because I know she is hurting and however hard I try to minister to her needs, the message is just not making it through her thick skull.
One of our other female members tries to talk to her and she gets the same song and dance from her. I watched Louise throw her hands up even before the meeting started listening to Ms. Nikki make excuses as to why she would not be participating in the group further. What can you do?
How can one get sober and stay sober and become happy, joyous, and free, if you are always waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop on you? I’ll give you my opinion and cast my vote in your group, but I will not apply myself to the program or to sobriety. Why the fuck Bother???
And I know that I am partially to blame for this happening because I allow it to happen around me. I sit and listen to her piss and moan week after week, and try as I might to affect change - it is like trying to force the horse to drink at the well, after leading the horse there. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.
So I am at SOBER odds with my best friend when it comes to my Home Group.
I work on my sobriety. I work my steps, and i work with others, I sponsor newbies and I actively participate in the daily runnings on of my home group. I have participated in my sobriety for the last seven years, and I share at meetings and I speak when asked to speak. Whereas some people come to meetings, they mark time, they show up and warm a chair, but they do nothing, they want nothing, they expect nothing and they contribute nothing. And it comes to pass that we sat in this meeting today and listened to Ms. Nikki talk about sobriety like she knew what she was talking about with some authority. She spoke about working with new comers and pledging to do more, when over the last seven years, she wouldn’t be caught dead speaking to another alcoholic in a public setting. God forbid someone see her in the capacity as a member in public.
She would rather walk away, than identify herself as an alcoholic. She has her good points, she is always the first person to step up and be counted where it came to caring for other people. She has, more than once, over the last seven years helped hubby and I when necessary and she would not think twice about stepping up and being accountable if called upon. But we are a special case, she is my best friend. And I stared questioning my friendship when it came to the group conscience today.
There are some things that I, (we) as a group overlook in everyday life. We make allowances for bad days and bad months and bad attitudes. I put up with this bullshit, because I know that if she was to leave the group, that she would have no one else to fixate on, or to talk to, and is that healthy?
When it came to voting on motions at the group conscience, I could not overlook my own issues with people when it came to the conscious application of sober principles and traditions. I did not come to terms with those issues and I spoke to the members of the group, because they watched me get upset and twist in my chair through the entire meeting and they all said the same thing to me.
“You can’t help or save everyone.”
This was the question our fearless professor asked us in class today.
Dictionary.com defines wisdom as: the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
He also asked what is intelligence and does that differ from wisdom?
What is wisdom to me? Wisdom is something that comes with time, investment in life and knowledge collected over a lifetime. Wisdom is the practical application or pragmatic application of truth and goodness. For something to be wise, it has to follow that it is true. And that it comes from a place of goodness, and that wisdom can be applied to everyday life.
Intelligence, is over rated. The collection of information from study, life and experience, but all that knowledge is useless, if it goes no where. You can be smart and you can be intelligent, but you don’t necessarily become wise because of a degree or age. Intelligence is not the same as wisdom.
Who is wise? and Why? Who do you think is wise? and why?
I was asked if I felt that I was wise, on paper I indicated that I might be because I have 40 years of life experience and a few years of HIV under my belt. What I offer my readers is a lot of wisdom. Years of tried and true practice of action, faith and experience. Ask any sick person, young or old, and you will find that they are wise beyond their years. For those of us who faced the barrel of a gun and certain death and lived to tell the story, are wise.
I believe that men and women who survived atrocities are wise people. People like Elie Wiesel and every other man - woman and child who survived the Holocaust. I don’t know very many really wise men, as in Wise Men, but I believe that every one of us who shares their experience, strength and hope with one another is wise. Alcoholics come a dime a dozen, I know very few wise and sober men and women, I can count them on one hand.
Someone who has survived a life and is willing to give freely of that life is wise. Someone who is content to being who they are, living outside the ego, those who really know who they are and can help us move forward in our own lives is wise. This discussion will continue over the next few weeks as class moves forward.
In other Blog News:
I was very angry to learn that a fellow Blogger has taken down his Blog because of assholes who had to go and muddy the water on a young vibrant and loving father of two young boys. Copper was one of the most important young wise men I knew because of who he is and what he brought to my readers and the Blog Sphere as a whole. I am saddened that he has gone from us and I condemn all those who had to go and fuck it up for the rest of us.
This from Joe My God:
In Tuesday’s post about gay parenting, many of you weighed in on this growing phenomenon and what it means in the larger picture of our rapidly changing gay culture. Overwhelmingly, you expressed support for gay parents, with small minority expressing strong distaste for gay people who desire to have children. A few commenters directed readers to a blog called Cooper’s Corridor (a site unknown to me) for insight into the life of good gay dad.
Late in the day, Cooper’s Corridor disappeared.
With his permission, here is Cooper’s explanation:
I have deleted my blog. I’m very sad that I have felt the necessity to do this, because I loved the Corridor and feel it had a unique voice of its own. I started getting many hundreds of hits on my blog and multiple e-mails, some very nice, but others full of vitriol and judgement. Yet others poked fun at me. I feel threatened. I won’t expose my sons to that kind of scrutiny, so I ended it right then and there. I’ll continue writing privately, but never again will I expose my heart and soul and those of my children to public consumption. It may seem like an over-reaction, and although it hurts terribly, I feel I had no choice. It’s a sad world we live in when gay men denigrate and deliberately choose to hurt others.
I feel awful. I have pleaded time and time again for a civil tone in the comments of JMG. With a weekly comment volume in the thousands, I don’t have the time to moderate or even read many of the comments and I depend on our (mostly) thoughtful and smart community of JMG participants to keep the peace. And it works, mostly. Reviewing the comment thread of the post in question, with a handful of exceptions, there’s really not too much there that is very offensive.
But the idea that an apparently great blogger and fantastic gay father could be silenced by nasty JMG readers, even if they were directed to his blog by commenters and not me….well, that really fucking bothers me.
I offer my embarrassed apologies to Cooper.
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From this afternoon’s comments:
I had the privilege to hear Bishop Robinson speak tonight in St Mary’s Putney (London). I had not heard him speak before and I am greatly saddened that people could threaten such a Christ-filled individual. He, together with the Inclusive Church folk and others present, truly refreshed my flagging desire to remain in the Anglican Church (+Rowan is my diocesan bishop). I am sorry to say that Bishop Robinson has been told today in an E Mail from Lambeth Palace, that he does not have the Archbishop’s permission to celebrate or preach in England during the Lambeth period. Bishop Robinson was gracious, if disappointed, by this news. There was much support for him this evening and I know we are all looking forward to welcoming him back here in the summer as a brother and a bishop, regardless of the opprobrium some may wish to express against him and those who consecrated him…
It seems it is not enough for Canterbury to shun an Episcopal Bishop, duly elected and consecrated, from the Lambeth Conference. Now he is banned from all the altars and pulpits of England.
It is Dr. Williams’ perogative, of course, to make such a harsh declaration. But it certainly is cause to, once again, question his judgment. On what grounds does he refuse to recognize Bp. Robinson’s Holy Orders?
It seems to me this is yet another attempt to embrace “peace at any cost.” If that was Dr. Williams’ intention, I am afraid he has accomplished just the opposite in some quarters.
For those who may not be familiar with Bp. Robinson, he is much more than just an “issue” to be batted about in some kind of ecclesiastical game. Here is part of a recent Telegraph interview that will give you some glimpse of the man:
Gene Robinson is the American bishop whose homosexuality has split the Anglican Church. He tells Peter Stanford about his anger with the Archbishop of Canterbury and why he believes God is on his side.
Bishop Gene Robinson, the very devil incarnate to some of his fiercest critics, is sitting before me in a London hotel.
“Look at me,” the 61-year-old prelate protests when I repeat the charge that he is single-handedly driving Anglicanism to its death.
“I’m a little guy and I don’t have that much power. Now if someone chooses to leave the worldwide [Anglican] communion because I’m a bishop, then that’s their doing, not mine.”
Gene Robinson is indeed small, the result of infantile paralysis which doctors told his parents would kill him young. But his size is not the thing that everyone knows about him.
When he was elected as Bishop of New Hampshire in 2003, Robinson became the Anglican Communion’s first openly gay bishop. He has lived in a committed relationship with Mark Andrew, a local government officer, for nigh on 20 years.
Their refusal to deny or cover up that same-sex commitment in order to avoid clashing with official church teaching on homosexuality, sent shockwaves around global Anglicanism.
The storm is set to intensify in July when the world’s Anglican bishops meet for their once-a-decade gathering at Lambeth Palace and debate what to do about the “problem” of Bishop Robinson.
However, when the host, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, sent out invitations to the Lambeth Conference, Gene Robinson’s was the one name missing from the list. It was, Robinson believes, an “unstrategic” attempt to appease the conservative Anglican primates from Africa, Asia and Latin America, led by Archbishop Peter Akinola of Nigeria, who have described the installation of a gay bishop as the work of Satan.
“I have a lot of sympathy for Archbishop Williams,” Robinson reflects. I can hear the “but” coming a mile off.
“I pray for him all the time. And I worry about him, not in a condescending way. Given his views and his brilliant writing prior to becoming Archbishop of Canterbury, to see how he has led, or not led, on this issue of homosexuality makes me wonder how he sleeps at night. What he has done, and what he has chosen not to do, violates where he has been all along.”
Robinson is in London to promote his new book, In The Eye of the Storm. It is a spiritual memoir aimed, he says, at showing that he is more than “a one issue guy”.
The last of its five sections, however, sets a course for the Lambeth Conference and beyond. It is, in one way, Robinson having his say, even though he’s not going to be at the event itself.
Or, at least not at the gatherings of the bishops. “I’m going to be there, in the market place,” he says, “making myself available to anyone who wants to talk.”
He won’t, as many Anglicans seem to hope, be allowing the whole issue to go away. It is in this refusal to be silent that I finally begin to see in this otherwise gentle and genial prelate that flash of steely resolve that drives all implacable dissenters forward.
“Jesus never says anything about homosexuality,” he says, the light tone in his nasal voice suddenly darkening, “but he says a lot about treating every person with dignity and respect. All the biblical appeals for a particular attitude to homosexuality can never quote Jesus.”
What, though, of Old Testament condemnations of “men who lay with men”?
“The Church isn’t the same yesterday, today and tomorrow,” he says.
“Only God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. The Church has always been changing. The Holy Spirit is leading us into truth. And I believe we have learnt that about people of colour, about women, about those who are disabled and now about lesbian and gay people.”
He would, I can see, be impressive in a pulpit. Perhaps it was his oratory that caused the Anglican electors of New Hampshire to vote decisively for him in 2003, and his fellow American bishops to give him their backing.
But, whatever their motives, their decision has had the effect of bringing to a head Anglicanism’s muddled attitude to sexuality.
“As Anglicans we agree about so many things,” Robinson concedes. “We are not arguing over the divinity of Christ, the Trinity or the Resurrection. We are arguing about a non-essential thing.”
Non-essential, perhaps, I interrupt, but sex is hugely important to people’s lives and therefore to the life of the Church.
“It is so sad to me that this issue has become so important to us,” he insists. “To raise any issue about the central issues that Jesus raised is idolatry. To focus on this issue to the exclusion of everything else is a kind of idolatry.
It makes the Church seem that much more hopelessly irrelevant to the culture for whom this is less and less of an issue all the time, and especially for people under 30. It makes the Church look so behind the times. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Church could lead for a change rather than bring up the rear?”
This last phrase is greeted by a sharp intake of breath from his publicist, who is sitting in on the interview. Robinson looks momentarily perplexed. “Is that a bad thing to say in Britain?” he asks. We nod, sheepishly, like smutty first formers; he bursts into laughter. Warm, throaty, inclusive laughter. Robinson has charm and a sense of humour about himself.
Which is just as well, given how closely he has been scrutinised since he began to make headlines. He and Andrew have faced some ugly slurs. One was that their getting together caused Robinson’s 12-year heterosexual marriage to break down. The reality is that there was a three-year gap between meeting Andrew and his split with Isabella - known as Boo - the mother of his two daughters and who says she was always aware of his attraction to men.
There have been occasional gaffes, too. Robinson admits that he wishes he had never said “I’ve always wanted to be a June bride” in an interview over his plans to enter a civil partnership with Andrew this year. It plays to the sort of prejudice that caused The Church of England Newspaper to label him as exemplifying “the worst of the gay culture of over-wealthy, bored, liberal America”.
Don’t such attacks ever make him wonder if it is worth it? Recently he has caused a new stir by outing himself as a recovering alcoholic. “Occasionally I don’t like the probing and the questioning. But I put up with it because I grew up in a time when there were no role models.
“To be gay and lesbian was to be a failure. The good gay people killed themselves. And the others were drug addicts and bums. There was no possibility for a life of integrity or respect. So I feel called to be as open as I can be about my life so that young lesbians and gay men will understand that they can have wonderful relationships, be mothers and fathers and make a real distinction for themselves in their careers. I owe it to those who come after me.”
Given that he is not about to change his view, Anglicanism faces an uncertain future, I suggest. “I believe,” he says, giving every indication of meaning it, “that in the end the communion will win out and we will hang together. God calls all of his children to the table. We can disagree and even say a lot of hateful things, but what we can’t do in good conscience is leave the table. Or demand that someone else not be at the table.”
Which seems to be exactly what some of his fellow bishops are demanding of him. “They are,” he confirms, “and that is the worst sin. But by virtue of our baptism, Peter Akinola and I are brothers in Christ and one day we are going to be in heaven together, so we might as well learn to get along here because we will have to get along there. God won’t have it any other way.”
‘In the Eye of the Storm’ by Gene Robinson (Canterbury Press) is available from Telegraph Books for £11.99 + £1.25 p&p. To order call 0870 428 4112 or go to books.telegraph.co.uk.
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Found on: Fr. Jake Stops the World…
Bp. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire has received numerous threats of violence since before his consecration, which resulted in him being required to wear a bullet-proof vest. In a recent interview, the Bishop speaks of new threats, apparently as the result of his resolve to attend Lambeth:
Gene Robinson, the openly gay American bishop whose appointment has sparked furore within the Anglican church, said in an interview Monday he had received physical threats in recent years.
Speaking to the BBC while in Britain ahead of this summer’s Lambeth Conference of Anglican bishops, Robinson said the controversy surrounding his appointment was “deeply troubling”.
Robinson, who will be attending the fringes of the Lambeth Conference but has not been officially invited, told the broadcaster: “I’ll be coming to the Lambeth Conference, and there have already been threats against me and others.”
Asked whether he regarded the threats as serious, he replied: “Absolutely. This has been going on ever since I was elected Bishop of New Hampshire, and I have to take them seriously. Certainly the authorities take them seriously”…
What is most alarming about this news is that the response from some of the extreme Conservatives is to treat this like a joke. Here’s just a few examples:
…it is in his self interest to recieve as many threats as possible so that he can go on and on and on about “poor me”…I’m sure his tailor is thrilled to get to do the June Bride in Kevlar…Dear simple country bishop - the threats in this life are NOTHING like the threats in the bible, those awaiting you in the afterlife…This is all a bunch of grandstanding, folks. He has a book to sell you know… and an agenda to promote…What goes around comes around Gene, and you set about destroying the church our families have worshipped in for generations and it is bound to be costly…I think he should wear a lightning-proof vest.
Such responses are most likely just casual chatter, with no real threat intended. But, what is of concern is that if some psychotic person was to see such a cavalier response to death threats, they could interpret it as permission to target Bp. Robinson.
Our words matter. That includes the words we use here. As an aside, I need to tell you that I was disappointed by some of the responses to Life Long Episcopalian yesterday. Some of them were just plain mean. In hindsight, I should have removed some of them. In the future I will.
Enough, folks. I will not tolerate rhetorical violence here. And there will not be such responses to this post, either. Yes, I know this kind of stuff makes us angry. And I know some of you have stories full of similar violence. I understand, having been targeted myself a few times. But focusing on that is not productive. Move beyond it. It’s time we learned some self-control. When we meet violence with violence, the result is always more violence.
Bp. Robinson has been threatened. What is a productive response?
I’ll start. I’ve made my decision. If at all possible, I’ll be going to Lambeth, to do my small part to protect the innocent.
Watch your words, folks. I’m zapping posts and taking names today.
J.
LONDON (AFP) - Gene Robinson, the openly gay American bishop whose appointment has sparked furore within the Anglican church, said in an interview Monday he had received physical threats in recent years.
Speaking to the BBC while in Britain ahead of this summer’s Lambeth Conference of Anglican bishops, Robinson said the controversy surrounding his appointment was “deeply troubling”.
Robinson, who will be attending the fringes of the Lambeth Conference but has not been officially invited, told the broadcaster: “I’ll be coming to the Lambeth Conference, and there have already been threats against me and others.”
Asked whether he regarded the threats as serious, he replied: “Absolutely. This has been going on ever since I was elected Bishop of New Hampshire, and I have to take them seriously. Certainly the authorities take them seriously.”
He said he did not relish the attention put on him by the controversy, adding that “the pain that this has caused is deeply troubling to me, but … pain should not be a surprise to Christians.”
“Jesus says that every time we try to follow in God’s way, we will pay a price.”
Robinson, who will be entering a civil union with his partner later this year, said he did not think the Anglican Communion had permanently split, noting that he had “great hopes” for it.
“I want my brothers and sisters around the world in this church with me, and we need each other so that we can offer a model for the world of how to hang together, even when we disagree about this,” he said.
His appointment in 2003 by the US Episcopal branch of the Anglican church has sparked division in the communion, with Uganda’s branch announcing in February it would not attend the July 16-August 3 Lambeth Conference.
The conference, held every 10 years, brings together bishops from all 38 provinces of the Anglican Communion in Canterbury, southeast England, to discuss and make resolutions that will govern the church.
Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams will preside over the meeting.
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I guess you can say that a series of events conspired to get me to sobriety. I was heading in this general direction for a few months before I had gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired. I came off a long and terribly painful slip, I was trying to rebuild my life from nothing once again, and I found a land lady who decided that it was her duty to try and help me heal my wounds. She gave me a place to live and added to that she gave me a job when I really needed it the most. Little blessings…
I was a binge drinker then and so I was drinking for the entire week in one night. I had a job that paid me well and over those last few months I always tell this story about Troy. Troy was a boy who came into my shop looking for work. I hired him, and every day he would come into work and say “I did not drink today!” Well, I clapped my hands and said well done.
I had prayed for that last hangover, which came. The second prayer was that God put an alcoholic in my path. Over the few months that Troy worked for me he would say every day that ‘he didn’t drink’ until 4 months later we were on a delivery and he said that he was taking his One Year Cake and that maybe I would like to join him at a meeting, which I accepted his invitation. The third prayer was that I get to a meeting. I was ready for God to make his move. I was waiting for the signs to come together and they did.
I never took another drink. December 9th 2001 was my first meeting back. Which is the day I picked up my white poker chip. My sign of surrender. Getting sober in the same city “Again” that I got sober in the first time was a challenge, because I was ashamed and I did not want the many people I got sober with the first time, to see me crawl back into a meeting sorrowful and beaten down as far as I had been during my slip.
I had a month to clean up. Miami is a big city and sober people come and go, and news traveled fast in those days, and on Christmas Eve 2001, I went into the city for a midnight meeting and everyone I knew in my first recovery was there, and they clapped and cheered as I walked in the hall that night. I think it was one of the best nights in my sober life. I was free, and forgiven, and loved and that made all the difference to my sobriety that none of my friends judged me because I was doing a terrible job judging myself already.
I started working my steps. I starting reading the Big Book. I had a meeting every day at the same time in the same place that served me well. That 10 p.m. meeting did wonders for me because I was a late night drinker and I partied at night and I could not party any more, and all my friends I made at that home group helped me immensely.
Five months into sobriety I came to visit Montreal, I liked it so much I decided to move, and get my citizenship. I went home to Florida and packed up my little life and pulled up stakes and set off for the promised land. And that’s what it has been like for the last almost seven years. I would not have changed anything as it came to me - God blessed my life, God blessed my sobriety because this has been a wondrous life and I am truly grateful.
I did my homework. I went to meetings, I found my way into this beautiful city and I did not look back. The hard work here in Montreal is that there is only 2 meetings in this city (on the English side) that meets every day at the same time every day. If you are going to get sober in Montreal, you are going to have to work your ass off because there are over 500 meetings in the city every week, and you must travel to get to these meetings. There is no luxury way to do it. You find the time, You make the time, and you schedule your life around your meetings, and that is what I have done for the last six years and four months.
Thank you for my sobriety…
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We continue on our journey through historical Islam and we are going to look at a number of thoughts in this section of the text, as it covers 50 pages to the end of Chapter 2. We begin tonight’s lesson with the 5 Pillars of Islam. Muslims believe that there are Five Pillars of Islam, which are the fundamental principles that make up the most basic requirements for life as a Muslim:
Our writer makes certain statements in this text that she believes will bring together the fighting factions of Islam to a peaceful resolution. Stated here: “It is my firm belief that until Muslims revert to the traditional interpretation of Islam - in which “you shall have your religion, and I shall have mine” is respected and adhered to - the factional strife within Muslim countries will continue. Indeed, until quranic tolerance is reestablished, the key Muslim countries of pakistan and Iraq will not only continue to weaken them but will continue to threaten to spread inflexible and extremist interpretations elsewhere in the Muslim world.
Those who teach the killing of adherents of other sects or religions are damaging Muslim societies as well as threatening non-Muslim societies.
On Seeking Knowledge:
The Prophet remarked on the importance of seeking knowledge throughout life: “Seek knowledge by even going to China, for seeking knowledge is incumbent on every Muslim.” The Prophet placed the utmost importance on seeking knowledge, instructing humans to go to extraordinary lengths to gain not just religious knowledge but all knowledge.
The Past:
The past is used too frequently to define modern Muslims, especially when evaluating their receptivity to democracy. We don’t define Judaism by the brutality of the conquest of the tribes of Canaan or by the pain and suffering of the plagues on Egypt. We don’t define Christianity by the barbarism of the Dark Ages or by the persecution of the Inquisition.
When analysts look at the receptivity of modern Muslim communities to democracy, they too often look to Islamic texts and interpretations, as well as to the kind of social structure of the first community of Muslims. This construct, labeled “Muslim exceptionalism,” is based on the view that the norms of the Muslim community of the past must necessarily define the Muslim community of the present. It assumes that Muslim thought and Muslim society have not evolved, adapted, or changed over time. Some feel that “the character of Muslim societies has been determined by a specific and remote period in their past during which the social and political order that continues to guide them was established.
The scholar is referring to Prophet Mohammad’s early community of Muslims in seventh-century Arabia. This theory is predicated on the bizarre belief that they strength of the past continues to hold on to the psyche of Muslim society, blocking progress in political and other fields, including human rights and technological and economic development.
Morals and Beliefs:
The Qu’ran provides broad beliefs and morals by which to live. The specifics were left to be interpreted in light of the proper historical context. “The text is silent. We have to hear its voice. In order to hear, we need presuppositions. In order to have presuppositions, we need the knowledge of the age. In order to have the knowledge of the age, we have to surrender to change.
Equally important to the context of interpretation of the Qu’ran is who interprets it. Some Muslims, especially those belonging to theocratic regimes, try to assert that only a select few can interpret the Qu’ran. This is not the case. Interpretation of the Qu’ran is not limited to any one person or committee. The Qu’ran did not establish a specific institution or group of leaders as its sole interpreters. Any Muslim is free to interpret the Qu’ran. All Muslims are guaranteed the right to interpret the Qu’ran (ijtihad) Thus even the approach to interpretation of the Qu’ran is embedded with democratic values.
Indeed, Muslims are told that each person is accountable for his or her individual behavior. No relative, teacher, or other can intervene for a Muslim of the Day of Judgment.
Interpretation:
Every interpretation needs to be based on the context in which it is undertaken. In the modern world, modern interpretations need to be made while respecting the underlying principles of the Qu’ran. The Qu’ran, while the word of God, is a text that is historically rooted in the time of its revelation. There is no explicit mention of democracy in the Qu’ran because it was not a word used in the seventh-century Arabia. However, the principles of consultation and consensus among the people, which are found in the Qu’ran, are the bases of democracy. Moreover, the principles of equality, justice, and law, which are the underlying foundations of democracy, are repeatedly stressed in the Qu’ran.
Our author continues with her beliefs as she states:
For Muslims like me, who believe in democracy, Islam is about consent and people’s participation. Islam and democracy are compatible. Radwan Masmoudi agrees that contemporary interpretations need to continue to be made; he asserts that it is better than “the doors of ijtihad - closed for some 500 years - be reopened.”
Even the conservative Pakistani Islamist leader Khurshid Ahmad conceded that “God has revealed only broad principles and has endowed man with the freedom to apply them in every age in the way suited to the spirit and conditions of that age. It is through ijtihad that people of every age try to implement and apply divine guidance to the problems of their times.”
We are moving into more current events and places in this portion of the reading and I reiterate the following text because it is important for Westerners and others to understand what is bubbling just beneath the surface and why there is wide spread war around the globe.
Continuing:
Islam proclaims that the earth belongs to “Khalq e Khuda,” the people of God. We are all God’s creatures. The earth is given to us in trust by God. We the people are the agents of God in this world. We are to govern the earth as a sacred trust and as trustees of the responsibility to pass it on the future generations. The right to declare who is a “good Muslim” and who is a “bad Muslim” is a right that belongs only to God.
Those who say that we on earth must determine who is a good Muslim and who is a bad Muslim are in many ways responsible for the political legacy of murder, mayhem, sectarian warfare, and oppression of women and minorities we see in the Muslim world. These extremists are destroying the Muslim world by pitting Muslim against Muslim.
Militancy:
The militants seethe with anger, but their anger is always tied to their political agenda.
Muslim extremists systematically targeted historical nationalist movements to gain credibility and launch themselves into the Muslim heartland with a view to piggybacking off nationalist movements to advance their agenda. However, most Muslims were suspicious and not welcoming of their extreme interpretation of Islam. Thus is was only in Afghanistan, already softened by years of resistance by Afghan mujahideen, that Muslim extremists were able to establish the Taliban dictatorship.
Driven out of Afghanistan after the September 2001 attacks on the United States, they returned to Pakistan, where the journey had begun with General Zia-ul-Haq in 1980.
After the United States invaded Iraq, these same extremists turned their attention to that country. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi went off to fight in Iraq. Presumably others did, too. Again they used religious propaganda to kill, maim, and effectively divide one of the richest Muslim countries, Iraq, into a land of carnage and bloodshed.
Sunnis and Shias, who had lived peacefully side by side for centuries, began to kill each other, and Iraq began to fall apart. It is quite easy (and typical) for Muslim Extremists to blame the Americans for the sectarian civil war that rages in Iraq today, when actually it is a long standing tension between Muslim communities that has been exacerbated and militarized to create chaos under which extremists thrive.
Iraq is not the only goal of the extremists. Pakistan too is in great danger. Pro-Taliban forces have taken over tribal areas of Pakistan. They occupy the Swat Valley. They have been ceded Waziristan by the Musharraf regime. They are moving into the settled areas of Pakistan. Their apparent next goal is the cities of my country, including our capital, Islamabad. They thrive on dictatorship; they thrive on terror; they provoke chaos to exploit chaos.
I (Bhutto) returned to Pakistan on October 18, 2007, with the goal of moving my country from dictatorship to democracy. I hoped that this transition could take place during the scheduled elections of 2008. I feared that otherwise the extremists would march towards Islamabad. Islamabad is near the town of Kahuta, where Pakistan’s nuclear program is being carried out.
It is my fear that unless extremism is eliminated, the people of Pakistan could find themselves in a contrived conflict deliberately triggered by militants (or other “Islamists”) who now threaten to take over Pakistan’s nuclear assets.
Having a large Muslim nation fall into chaos would be catastrophic. My people could end up being bombed, their homes destroyed, and their children orphaned simply because a dictator has focused all his attention all off the nations resources on containing democrats instead of containing extremists, and then has used the crisis that he has created to justify the same policies that caused the crisis. It may sound convoluted, but there is certainly method to madness.
And in closing this discussion:
Islam was sent a message of liberation. The challenge for modern-day Muslims is to rescue this message from the fanatics, the bigots, and the forces of dictatorship. It is to give Muslims back the freedom God ordained for humankind to live in peace, in justice, in equality, in a system that is answerable to the people on this earth accepting that is it God who will judge us on the Day of Judgment.
It is by accepting that temporal and spiritual accountability are two separate issues that we can provide peace, tranquility, and opportunity. There are two judgments: the judgment of God’s creatures in this world through a democratic system and the judgment by God when we leave this world.
The extremists and militants who seek to hijack Islam aim to make their own judgments. In their failure lies the future of all Muslims and the reconciliation of Islam to the West.
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